Writing Workshop

Writing tip: Write the unexpected in an expectable way

2010-08-22T13:29:00.000-07:00

When a magician pulls a rabbit out of a hat, the audience says it's magic, but when a writer does it, the audience asks where it came from. Anyone can write something that was unexpected. What makes the unexpected brilliant is that the audience could have expected it, if only they'd been paying more attention to what went into the hat.

Prepare the audience for every shock; uncover a few bones before you dig up the corpse; and foreshadow extensively, without being predictable. It'll make you seem smarter than you are, which is better than being smarter than you seem.

Subjunctive tense

2010-04-12T17:37:00.001-07:00

The subjunctive tense (also known as subjunctive mood) in English is found in clauses following a verb that expresses “a doubt, a wish, regret, request, demand, or proposal” (englishplus.com). Moreover, the subjunctive tense most commonly follows in a clause starting with “if.”

Only the present tense third person singular conjugations of verbs, and the conjugations of the verb "to be" are required to change when the subjunctive tense is used. In the case of the verb "to be" the subjunctive tense requires that you use “be” for the present tense, and "were" for the past tense, regardless of whether the subject is “I, you, she, or they.”

FOR EXAMPLE (past tense):

If I were richer, I'd be able to afford a better car.

NOT:

If I was richer, I'd be able to afford a better car.

AND:

He spends as though he were the richest man in the world.

NOT:

He spends as though he was the richest man in the world.

ALSO (present tense):

If I be the one to fulfill the prophecy, then let it be so, but if not, then let another step forth before I fail.

NOT:

If I am the one to fulfill the prophecy, then let it be so, but if not, then let another step forth before I fail.

Finally, the present tense third person singular of all verbs drops the “s” or “es” ending when the subjunctive tense is used.

FOR EXAMPLE:

I suggested that she give as much to the cause as possible.

NOT:

I suggested that she gives as much to the cause as possible.

AND:

I would prefer that each waitress pool her tips with the others, so as to be evenly divided at the end of the day.

NOT:

I would prefer that each waitress pools her tips with the others, so as to be evenly divided at the end of the day.

According to Englishplus.com, the following verbs are often "followed by clauses that take the subjunctive:"

ask, demand, determine, insist, move, order, pray, prefer, recommend, regret, request, require, suggest, and wish.

It is also important to note that only subordinate clauses may be subjunctive.

Source

How to use "I" and "Me"

2009-11-07T06:38:00.000-08:00

It's easy to tell which of "I" or "me" to use in some sentences, for example:

I am going to the beach.
You wouldn't say, "Me is going to the beach."

He told me he didn't want to go.
Nor would you say, "He told I he didn't want to go."

When you combine other nouns, however; the choice becomes less clear. I was taught always to say: "my brother and I" not "my brother and me," but as it turns out, this is often wrong. An easy way to determine the right pronoun is to remove the other noun and see if the sentence reads correctly. If it does, you chose the right one, if it doesn't, you chose the wrong one.

For example:

The teacher told my brother and I to wait for him in the hall.

Test:

The teacher told I to wait for him in the hall. (Doesn't read correctly)

The teacher told me to wait for him in the hall. (Correct)

Thus write:

The teacher told my brother and me to wait for him in the hall.

Another example:

Me and my brother were waiting for the teacher for almost an hour.

Test:

Me was waiting for the teacher for almost an hour. (Incorrect)

I was waiting for the teacher for almost an hour. (Correct)

Thus write:

My brother and I were waiting for the teacher for almost an hour.

Note: the convention when using "I" with another person's name is to write/say that person's name first. Never write "I and Jacob," or "I and my brother."

Also, if you like to get technical, the reason for all of this is that "me" is the objective case of "I," meaning that the same rules apply as for "who" and "whom" (objective case of "who").

Source

Some rules about Numbers in writing

2009-11-01T16:31:00.000-08:00

The rule is:

If a number is 10 or greater, use numbers, and for zero to nine, write it out.

Thus write:

We have just 15 minutes until then.

You've got five seconds left.

Exceptions:

Never start a sentence with a number. Thus, write:

Fifteen minutes have passed.

Not

15 minutes have passed.

Also, this is a matter of style and preference, but I prefer to write out all numbers and abbreviations (except Mrs. for which there is no commonly accepted spelling) in dialogue. Thus, I would write:

"We turned onto one hundred and forty-second street twenty-five minutes ago!"

(Notice, hyphens were used. For the numbers twenty-one to ninety-nine, use hyphens to join the tens' place to the ones'.)

"Good morning, class. My name is Mister Collins, and I'm going to be your Algebra teacher for the foreseeable future."

Comprehensive rules, according to Sarah of EssayForum.com (her source being the Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association):

Use numbers (numerals) in these instances:

1. For all numbers 10 and above: "There were 17 students in class."
2. All numbers below 10 that are grouped in comparison to numbers 10 and above: "Ony 5 of 17 students passed the course."
3. When using numbers immediately before a unit of measure: "a 5-minute wait"
4. Numbers that represent statistical or mathematical functions or formulas: "a ratio of 12:1"
5. Numbers that represent time, dates, ages, sizes, scores, money, and points on a scale: "It happened 5 years ago"; "a roomful of 6-year-olds"; "$40."
6. Numbers that represent a place in a series: "week 7 of an 8-week diet"
7. In a list of four or more numbers: "We had 1, 2, 5, and 8 pieces, respectively"

Sources:

http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000125.htm

http://www.dailywritingtips.com/10-rules-for-writing-numbers-and-numerals/

http://www.essayforum.com/general-writing-questions-13/use-numerals-spell-out-words-694/

Formatting a Character's Thoughts

2009-10-27T16:37:00.000-07:00

Treat a character's thoughts just dialogue, but without the quotes. Use italics in place of the quotes. In the case below, note that the character's thoughts are capitalized even though they don't seem to be the beginning of the sentence (the same is done when a dialogue attribution comes before the actual dialogue). Also note that "she" is not italicized, because italics are also used for emphasis, to make a word stand out, and in order to achieve the same effect in a character's thoughts, the writer removes the italics from the emphasized word.

She thought, What's she doing here? (Hambly 131)

NOT

She thought, what's she doing here?

Source

Hambly, Barbara. Star Wars: Children of the Jedi. NY, NY:
Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing, 1996. Print.

Subject-verb agreement

2009-10-19T12:00:00.001-07:00

For words that indicate a partial amount—some, all, none, etc.—if the noun is plural, use a plural verb, and if the noun is singular use a singular verb.

Examples:

None of the chickens are good.
None of this chicken is good.

Some of the pies are good.
Some pie is good, some pie is not.

All of us are going.
All of this pie is good.

In each case the plurality of the italicized noun is matched by the verb.

Disclaimer: advice on this (especially the sometimes plural use of "none") varies, see my source for details.

Source

Ellipses, and the proper format

2009-10-16T10:02:00.000-07:00

In the final revisions of my first book, one of my readers/editors thought I'd incorrectly formatted ellipses, and I had to check the current rules, so here's what I found:

First of all, what are they?

Ellipses are the ". . ." you often see in writing which indicate material was omitted from a quote, or in creative writing, sometimes they are simply used for a long pause.

Formatting:

-Put a space on either side and one between each dot
e.g. He was going to . . . do something, but what?

-If the Ellipses occur at the end of a sentence, include the period and add the ellipses at the end.
e.g. That's what I was going to do. . . .

-With exclamation points and question marks:
"It was going to get me . . . !"
"He didn't . . . ?"

Remember the space between the last dot and the question/exclamation mark.

Source

When do you capitalize mom, dad, mother, and father?

2009-10-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

Generally, if you can replace the words mom, dad, mother, and father with the person's name in the sentence, you should capitalize them.

For example:

"What did you say, Mom?"

He wasn't going to tell Mom.

"Of course, Dad."

"It's behind the bed--Dad's bed."

By contrast:

My mother lied.

My father was drunk.

His mom wasn't going to give him another cookie, no matter how much he begged.

Note: the same rule applies for titles (Doc, Sergeant, etc.), and other familial relations (Grandma, Grandpa, etc.).

When to Use Auxiliary Verbs: Sank or Sunk? Sang or Sung? Drank or Drunk?

2009-10-15T15:51:00.000-07:00

The boat has sunk.
The boat sank.

He has drunk too much.
He drank too much.

She has sung that song many times before.
She sang very well.

All of these sentence pairs are grammatically correct, but switch the words in italics and the sentences are no longer correct. Sunk, drunk, and sung are all examples of past participles which require an auxiliary verb (such as has, had, was, etc.)

Blond or Blonde?

2009-10-02T13:00:00.000-07:00

According to my source:

The words blond and blonde come from the French and follow somewhat the French pattern. Blond (without the e) is used to describe males, mixed gender, or uncertain gender. Blonde refers to women or female gender.

In modern use, blond is sometimes used for female as well as male, but blonde is preferred for female.

In my opinion, since English doesn't require different adjectives for male and female, it's better just to use "blond" without the e for both male and female.

Source

Tips for Parentheses

2009-04-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

If you enclose a complete sentence in parentheses and it occurs inside another sentence, don't capitalize the first word of the sentence and don't add a period inside the parentheses, but if the sentence requires a question mark or exclamation point go ahead and add them.

His abhorrence for work was astounding (he never once did a thing that he was told, and if he was forced to do it, he never did), but he had a true talent for diversion.

The most obscure word I've run across is "sesquipedalian" (would it be better to say "polysyllabic"?) and I've never once seen it used.

Source

Capitalization

2009-04-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

Capitalization and Quotations:

1. If you're quoting a complete sentence, capitalize the first letter.

He said, "She wasn't a very remarkable individual."

2. If a complete sentence is split with a dialogue attribution in the middle, don't capitalize the second part of the sentence.

"Give me that magazine," he said, "and pass me those books while you're at it."

Capitalization and Titles:

1. Titles used with people's names should be capitalized.

My brother referred me to Doctor Stevens.

The longest running politician I know is Mayor Edwards.

2. Titles used in place of a person's name to directly address that person should be capitalized.

How about it, Sergeant?

What's the diagnosis, Doctor?

But

I'd like that, miss.

How about it, sir?

Some common titles:

Religious titles: Bishop, Father, Rabbi, Reverend, Sister, Monsigneur
Military titles: Admiral, Major, Lieutenant, Colonel, Sergeant, General
Elected officials: Mayor, President, Congressman, Secretary, Senator, Congresswoman, Ambassador
Earned titles: Doctor, Provost, Professor, Dean
Honorary titles: Sir, Lady, Lord, Madame

Other Capitalization

1. Do not capitalize seasons

2. Capitalize the first word of salutations and closings of letters

Dear Madam:

Yours truly

3. Capitalize proper nouns and words derived from them

My favorite subject is English.

But no capitals are used in this sentence:

My favorite subject is math.

4. Capitalize specific school courses

I need to take Communications 202 and Literature 301 to finish this academic year. I'd also like to take history, but it wouldn't contribute to my major.

5. After a colon, do not capitalize the following sentence—unless there's more than one, e.g. a block quote—and do not capitalize a list that follows a colon.

I packed four types of sandwiches in the picnic basket: ham, cheese, bologna, and tuna.

As far as he was concerned there were only two way to settle the argument: they could fight it out now, or they could agree to fight it out later.

Sources

http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/capital.asp

Rozakis, Laurie. English Grammar for the Utterly Confused. McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., 2003.

Using Dashes

2009-04-29T08:19:00.000-07:00

Inserting a proper dash:

1. hold ALT and press 0151 on the keypad

2. for Microsoft Word: hold CTRL and ALT and press the minus sign on the keypad

If you can't insert a proper dash, use two hyphens: --

Usage:

Note: Don't overuse the dash, use other punctuation wherever possible, and never put spaces before or after a dash.

1. to set off parenthetical material:

He was a figure skater—though, like a fish from water, when on dry land he approximated a hippo for grace and poise—in the 1994 Olympics.

Pork—better known as pig—was his favorite entree—perhaps, because he fancied himself a cannibal, for he looked as what he favored.

2. To separate an appositive (a phrase which renames or describes a noun) that contains commas from the surrounding text:

He was a gourmand—one who readily ate more than what he weighed, given the opportunity—and shamelessly never looked the part.

The car gave an indignant squeal—a sharp, discordant sound that was almost elephantine—and then abruptly cut out.

3. To introduce a restatement, a list, an amplification, or a dramatic shift in tone or thought:

Restatement:

He couldn't have been more than five years old—or at least mentally he couldn't have been, for his mental age preceded his physical age by some centuries.

List:

I had just three items in my suitcase—a flashlight, a shaving kit, and a fresh pair of clothes.

(You could also use a colon in this case, but it would be more formal.)

Amplification:

He was a type of idiot—the very worst!

Dramatic shift:

Oh—hello!

They crept through the creaking hallways of the house, baseball bats and cans of hairspray at the ready—
And there he was!

Sources:

http://academics.smcvt.edu/writingctr/Dashes.htm

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/dashes-grammar.aspx

Using Commas With "As"

2009-04-16T09:23:00.000-07:00

Summary: When using “as” to mean “at the same time” the clause becomes essential and shouldn’t be preceded by a comma, but when using “as” to mean “because,” the clause is nonessential and requires a comma (Strunk and White 5). “As” is the nonessential form of “because.”

Writer’s tip: With “as” the reason is a nonessential clause but the time is an essential clause.

See also:Using Commas With “Because”

Rule 1: When you’re using “as” to mean “at the same time,” omit the comma.

For example:

They left the theater as the movie started to play. (Here “they” left the theater at the same time as the movie is starting to play. Adding a comma before “as” would change the meaning).

They left the theater, as the movie started to play. (Did “they” leave the theater “because” the movie started to play? The comma before the word implies a causal relationship.)

Rule 2: If you’re using “as” to mean “because,” then use a comma.

For example:

Fred left the theater, as he didn’t like the movie.

Fred left the theater as he didn’t like the movie. (Is Fred leaving the theater while not liking the movie? The meaning is unclear.)

Pricilla liked the play, as it obviously had an excellent costume designer.

Pricilla liked the play as it obviously had an excellent costume designer. (The second clause is clearly an aside—nonessential—and requires a comma.)

George left as he saw his ex arrive. (George is leaving at the same time as he sees his ex arrive.)

George left, as he saw his ex arrive. (George is leaving “because” he saw his ex arrive.)

Rule 3: When using “as” as an adverb, treat it as you would another adverb, such as “then.”

When using “as” as an adverb it can mean “to the same degree” or “in the idea, character, or condition of.” In this case, it usually requires a comma before it, but follow the rule of essential and nonessential clauses.

For example:

Fred went to the country, as was his custom during the holidays.

Fred loved Christmas, as did his whole family.

In both cases the second clause is nonessential and requires a comma before it.

Sources:

http://www.englishforums.com/English/UsageOfCommaAs/bxmvq/post.htm

Strunk, William, and E.B. White. The Elements of Style. Fourth Edition. Massachusetts: Allyn & Bacon, 2000. Print.

Commas before "Because"

2009-04-06T20:20:00.000-07:00

Summary: you rarely need a comma before "because," even when the word connects two independent clauses. The reason for this is that using a comma reduces the causal relationship between the clauses.

Writer's tip: don't use a comma before “because,” unless the first clause contains a negative, or the second clause is nonessential.

See also: Using Commas With “As”

Explanation:

While "because" often connects two independent clauses, and we are taught to place a comma before conjunctions connecting independent clauses, there is a rule that supersedes this one and tells us not to use a comma with "because" (in 99% of cases).

The rule is as follows:

If the clause is nonessential, use a comma before it, and conversely, if the clause is essential, don't use a comma.

E.g. She was Terrance's girlfriend, the same girl George had seen eating with Mark on Sunday. ("She" was identified as Terrance's girlfriend, the fact that George saw her eating with Mark on Sunday is nonessential.)
With an essential clause, the information is necessary to understand the sentence, so no comma should separate it from the clause which preceded it.

E.g. She was the one who had eaten with Mark on Sunday. (Without the clause, "who had eaten with him on Sunday," we wouldn't know who "she" is, so the information is critical to the meaning of the sentence.)

By its very nature, "because" makes the clause that follows it essential (due to the causal relationship that the word implies), and the comma should be omitted.

Here is an example:

He went to bed because he was tired.

Technically, "He went to bed" and "he was tired" are both independent clauses because they each have a subject and a verb, but when you join them with "because," it would be incorrect to use a comma.

Some more examples:

There was nothing to eat because the cupboard was bare.

He always ate alone because he didn't like talking with his mouth full, and he hated cold food.

When a comma before "because" is necessary:

1. He didn't run because he was afraid. (Then why did he run?)

He didn't run, because he was afraid.

2. He wasn't happy because they lost. (Then why was he happy?)

He wasn't happy, because they lost.

3. She didn't like him because he was tall. (Then why did she like him?)

She didn't like him, because he was tall.

Notice that in each case, the version of the sentence without the comma seems to say the opposite of what the one with the comma does. Moreover, the versions without commas don't even seem like complete sentences; there seems to be a missing clause in each. But also note the pattern: the first clause in each case used a negative--"didn't" or "wasn't."

Therefore, here's a good writer's tip: don't use a comma before "because" when joining two independent clauses, unless the first clause contains a negative.

Source

Commas before "Then"

2009-04-05T20:13:00.001-07:00

A comma is sometimes required before the word "then."

The rule is fairly simple: "then" can mean "at the appointed time" or "in that case," and if you're talking about the latter, then you usually need a comma before the word. If you're talking about the former, you almost never need the comma. The exception to this is if you're using "then" as a conjunctive adverb to connect parts of a sentence. In that case, you need a comma before it.

For example:

We went to the beach then. ("Then" is the time that we went to the beach, no comma is needed.)

It's decided, then. ("Then" is used to mean "in that case," so a comma is needed.)

He opened the door, then stepped inside. ("Then" is being used as a conjunctive adverb, so you need a comma before it. Note, however, that if you use a real conjunction with the adverb you don't need the comma. E.g. He opened the door and then stepped inside.)

Source

Who and Whom

2009-04-05T07:31:00.000-07:00

Use "who" when referring to, or asking about, the subject of a sentence, and "whom" when referring to, or asking about, the object.

The subject is the person or thing performing an action, for example:

He went to the library.

He is the one going to the library, thus "he" is the subject.

The object is the person or thing receiving the action, for example:

He went to the library.

The library is where "he" is going; it is receiving the action from the subject, and is thus the object of the sentence.

Here's a good mnemonic from grammar girl:

If I say, "I love you," you are the object of my affection, and you is also the object of the sentence (because I am loving you, making me the subject and you the object).

Now some examples of when to use "who" and "whom":

Whom did you go to the beach with? (Asks about the object, not the subject, "you")

Who went to the beach? (Asks who was performing the action--going to the beach--thus asks about the subject)

The one whom he loved was beautiful in every way. (Refers to the object that "he," the subject, loved)

The one who loved him was beautiful in every way. (Refers to the subject that loved "him," the object)

Quiz

Source

You may end a sentence with a preposition!

2009-03-31T16:58:00.001-07:00

It's a common misconception that you should never end a sentence with a preposition. Many grammarians argue that it's perfectly okay to do so, if the case warrants it.

What is a preposition?

A preposition, and the prepositional phrase which contains it, describes a relationship between its object and the rest of the sentence. For example:

The horse is in the stable.
He went inside the house.
The students were very disrespectful toward their teacher.

For a more detailed description of prepositions

When it's okay to end a sentence in a preposition:

Take the following sentence for example:

Who did you talk to?

Try removing the preposition.

Who did you talk?

This doesn't make any sense, and the alternative, rewriting the sentence, sounds too awkward for every day use:

To whom did you talk?

Unless you're writing dialogue for a particularly pretentious character, it would not be a good idea to write this way.

When it's not okay:

On the other hand, if the preposition could be removed without changing the meaning of the sentence, then it should be.

E.g. There was nothing inside of the refrigerator, so they ordered pizza.

There was nothing inside the refrigerator, so they ordered a pizza.

E.g. Where are you going to?

Where are you going?

In each example the second sentence works better, both for brevity and clarity.

Source

Prepositions

2009-03-30T17:54:00.000-07:00

A Preposition links nouns, pronouns, and phrases to other words in a sentence. The word or phrase that the preposition introduces is called the object of the preposition.

A preposition usually indicates the temporal, spatial or logical relationship of its object to the rest of the sentence as in the following examples:

The book is on the table.
The book is beneath the table.
The book is leaning against the table.
The book is beside the table.
She held the book over the table.
She read the book during class.

A prepositional phrase is made up of the preposition, its object and any associated adjectives or adverbs. A prepositional phrase can function as a noun, an adjective, or an adverb. The most common prepositions are "about," "above," "across," "after," "against," "along," "among," "around," "at," "before," "behind," "below," "beneath," "beside," "between," "beyond," "but," "by," "despite," "down," "during," "except," "for," "from," "in," "inside," "into," "like," "near," "of," "off," "on," "onto," "out," "outside," "over," "past," "since," "through," "throughout," "till," "to," "toward," "under," "underneath," "until," "up," "upon," "with," "within," and "without."

For example:

He was writing on an old, mechanical typewriter.

"on" is the preposition.

"on an old, mechanical typewriter" is the prepositional phrase.

Source

When Semicolons Replace Commas

2009-03-28T07:15:00.000-07:00

1. Semicolons are used to separate items in a list when the items already contain commas.

Normal List of items:

Inside the basket of fruit there was an apple, an orange, a banana, and a bundle of grapes.

List requiring semicolons:

Inside the basket of fruit there was a juicy, red apple; a shrunken, unripe orange; a half-eaten banana; and a bundle of overripe grapes.

Note: The last item has no commas, but a semicolon was used anyway. In mixed cases, I think, but have been unable to confirm, that you should use a semicolon if it makes the list easier to read. Just make sure you don't mix commas and semicolons within the same list. Be consistent.

2. Join independent clauses with a semicolon when one or both clauses contain a comma (Rozakis 156).

For example:

Wickham, a skinny kid with a perpetually hungry look, left his food, even though he hadn’t had enough; but George, who was full, couldn’t be blasted free from his plate—some people simply have stronger stomachs than others.

Sources

Rozakis, Laurie. English Grammar for the Utterly Confused. McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., 2003.

http://www.cliffsnotes.com/WileyCDA/CliffsReviewTopic/Uses-of-the-Semicolon.topicArticleId-29011,articleId-28988.html

Further/Farther

2009-03-28T07:04:00.000-07:00

Further

Used for time or quantity, not distance (46). E.g. I pursued Spanish further than any of my colleagues because I wanted to become the new regional sales manager for Latin America.

Farther

Used for distance. E.g. They ran farther down the hill to check if the others were catching up.

Quiz

Source:

Strunk, William, and E.B. White. The Elements of Style. Fourth Edition. Massachusetts: Allyn & Bacon, 2000. Print.

Passsed/Past

2009-03-28T06:58:00.000-07:00

Past

Refers to a period in time or a distance. E.g. All of my best memories are in the past (time). OR The bus went past at an incredible velocity (distance).

Passed

The action of passing. E.g. The teacher passed us by when he was handing out candy.

Source

That/Which

2009-03-27T17:02:00.000-07:00

That

Used to introduce a restrictive clause.

E.g. "I want an apple that doesn't have worms in it."

-Describes the exact apple desired, clause is restrictive, no need for commas because the clause is essential to the sentence's meaning.

Which

Used to introduce a nonrestrictive clause.

E.g. "I want an apple, which is a delicious type of fruit."

-Says nothing about the specific apple desired, the clause is "nonrestrictive," that is, it describes all apples, requires a comma before the clause because the clause is nonessential to the sentence's meaning.

A case where proper use is critical:

He likes dogs that don't bark.

He likes dogs, which don't bark.

In the first case we know that "he" likes dogs that don't bark.

In the second case, we're told two things: "he" likes dogs, and dogs don't bark.

(However, it seems to me that this distinction is so rare that we might eliminate it altogether by properly using commas. If the comma is removed in the second example, it doesn't matter that "which" was used; the sentence retains its proper meaning for the reader.)

Test

Rule 1: Sentence's meaning is the same without the clause: use "Which"

Rule 2: Sentence's meaning changes with the clause: use "That"

Rule 3: Clause seems to naturally call for a comma: check Rule 1

Quiz

Source